Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.


There's a coup going on in this blog. A regime change is highly probable.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The art of Oration...<sadly> eludes me

To speak in public, in front of an audience, presentations etc. has become something of an issue for me. While I feel at home communicating one on one or taking on a group, emptying my mind out via. the conduit of words, issued from my nozzle-like mouth(not to be taken literally, of course) ...Blabbering in front of a indifferent crowd or an inquisitive gathering for that matter, makes me break out in a cold sweat...that's when the performance quotient in me hits the bottom. I do, however, manage to conceal my goof-ups during the extempore, presentations and orations/discourses, thanks to the put-on calm I masquerade. In reality, I have rivulets of sweat flowing from the forehead all the way down to the toes. To talk shit in a structured manner conforming to a script, looks so despicable that thoughts of running away from the centrestage flood my mind.
What aggravates my woe even further is that I find so many others delivering memorized speech rather effortlessly. I tried that for myself and thanks to my ''selective memory'' , I couldn't get past the first few lines. When it comes to mugging up, my memory is no better than a sieve.
To help me out, it rained suggestions, weird suggestions...Mom said and I quote,'' read it, memorize it and then write it down...you'll never botch up again!''. Just imagine...to go through the script is such a pain in the bum, then to mug it up (something of a third degree torture) and finally to scribble it down...isn't strangling myself easier??
Still more despairing suggestion courtesy sister,'' Take up drinking...a small dose of alcohol before your 'jig' will help you calm your nerves...its a tested strategy...so many artist/singers do it and it sure does work''
Doesn't help much since I'll never taste 'sura'; one of many in the naive set of commitments I must take care of. Some downright trash in the name of suggestion,'' *ank yourself hours in advance...the fatigue should help you reign in your stage fright''...what an idea, sirji !! @#*&^@#%#%;@!!!!
''Clueless??'' I am...''Helpless?'' Yes! ''Seeking help??'' Not yet...''Any bright ideas??'' Nope...this is what echoes between my ears
Suggestions anyone???
Oh, yes!! I almost skipped this bit...My vocal skills misfire only when asked to speak in front of certain elements I'm 'uncomfortable' with...Lemme cite a few anecdotes...
*On the podium, delivering the inaugural speech for a fest, had to cope with a last minute addition... I had to acknowledge the dean of sciences who goes by the name " Bichitra Kumar Guha"...For some reason, my mind got hooked onto his name and set upon trying out its possible alterations. Could barely keep myself from bursting into laughter...and by the time I got back to introducing the rest of the invitees, my composure vanished and so I fumbled on multiple instances during that speech...


* Speaking in front of a "distinguished" audience gets my inner self revolting and I have to constantly check my tongue or else catastrophic words might slip past inviting a hell lot of miseries...here's the pic capturing the "distinguished" ones listening with rapt attention...


*Extempore!! Flashback to the first year...what went wrong back then? Well, I didn't prepare a scription for an extempore session, had to speak while cooking up the subject matter...understandably, the fluidity was missing...but my extempore was a good one by class standards...This however didn't go down well with the English teacher from the dept. of humanities (Mallika something) Was booked for being under prepared…this to some extent abridged my oratory skills. 
Not making much sense, am I? Believe me this problem of mine is getting way beyond my comprehension...Its time I got some help...Is help out there???

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