charting my way by streetlights...

The 6th of April, 2010 is definitely going to leave some impression in my mind. That evening i did something stupid yet got satisfaction out of doing it ( Kindly keep the temptation of thinking something entirely out of place, at bay , for the time being :). In one of my quite frequent mood-swings, i challenged myself to get off the bus someplace near the Victoria Memorial and to walk all the way home navigating through lesser known streets and lanes.

A requisite of this challenge implied me not asking anybody directions; only taking cue from the landmarks i encountered and the use of billoards or glo-signs to get my bearings. Cellphone use was obviously out of question.This was agreed upon subconsciously to make sure that i have only the sense of direction to help me get back to my crib. My conscience was entrusted with the responsibility of officiating this weird deed. "Weird" cuz i don't think u would come across many who would waste time trying to get lost willingly.
So, I plugged the ipod in my ears and got off the bus. As my feet hit the tarmac, the eardrums began vibrating with coldplay's "cemeteries of london", sending a wave of vitality through my body. The fatigue (reminiscent of the hectic time i had back in the college) vanished and all i desired was to get moving. Now, to keep walking is one thing but to get somewhere I had to proceed with purpose...That means basically to pick one of the four directions...So the place where I stood, south (my home's in south kolkata) was to my right. But there were so many streets to choose from.

The thing about neighbourhoods in Kolkata is that the lanes are serpentine and have plenty of dead ends...worse, if you loose track of the places you passed, it's probable that you may take a wrong turn cause at night time the buildings hopelessly similar. My strategy was to follow the streetlights...to avoid lanes with less or dimly-lit streetlamps and stick to properly illuminated path with considerable traffic...As a result the streetlights became my waypoints; I was wary enough to align the streetlights such that I keep heading south following them.

Watching out for these waypoints closely, I stumbled upon a small discovery of sorts...No two of the streetlights I came across were alike...the streetlight posts were like the totem poles of the locality they were in...the profile of people living there could be read from these posts...
In the posh colonies, the streetlight poles were mostly devoid of any grass/moss at the base, no hand painted message or posters glued to the body...just glow-signs/kiosks for anything from pizzas to dance classes...cars and bikes parked near them...some elderly people and mostly buddy-gangs sharing experiences from the day that went by, taking up position beneath those posts soaking in the soft light from the sodium vapor lamp lighting up a small patch of the tiled pavement...

Distinctly different were the lamp posts in shoddy, less privileged neighbourhoods...
Most of the posts had hawkers sprawling around it...be it tea stalls, tit-bits or even ayurvedic medicine stalls...only the posts near open air lavatories were spared...the posts were covered with coloured posters/ flyers for more practical purpose say tutions, income tax consultants and of course, consultants for sexual problems...urchins alongwith kids from housing societies playing unmindful of the autos and cars incessantly horns honking jostling to weave through the dingy lane further constricted by the overflowing street side canal. Countless accounts of love affairs were scratched on these posts by lovers who wished for a public acknowledgement.

 I kept moving by following the streetlights lined towards the south till I got my ass over to Jadavpur Thana having walked a good many kilometers on a way one wouldn't come across while using public transport. I convinced myself that the terms of the challenge had been fulfilled and took an auto to get back to the coziness of my bed. Lest my mom began doubting my sanity, I didn't give the actual reason why I got home late that evening.

In case, the whole concept of trying to get lost in city (of course, premeditated) or the purpose of writing a blog on it appears beyond reason, then I say give it a try and let me know.

Bolti Bandh!

Rain-o-rama
by P(i)TY... PYT...PTI news correspondent Gogol.

Yet another bandh struck our beloved city on the 27th of April and interestingly,a brief spell of thundershowers on Monday evening brought much needed relief from the blistering heat and this heavenly gesture proved to be a blessing in disguise for the CPN (Communist Party of India[Narcissist]) as Kolkatans remained in their beds on Tuesday morning, relishing the cool climate knowing that its unofficially a holiday courtesy the Bharat Bandh. While the opposition cried foul accusing the ruling party of bribing Lord Indra to strategically schedule the rains a day prior to the bandh (in a bid to coax public to oversleep, take the day off and stay at home considering the pleasant weather thus ensuring an effective bandh as claimed by the opposition). CPN however rubbished these allegations...'even God frustrated with the skyrocketing prices, extended His support to our cause...', an excerpt of an official statement released unofficially by the 'Pollute' Bureau...Not to be left behind, Mamata Banerjee (or M Ban in short) directed the railway engineering division to arrange for rains just before her next scheduled bandh... Even as this diktat had leading scientists across the nation scratching their grey matter, a report submitted by a panel of "buddhijeevi"s and "shilpi"s, proposes a plan mooting that rains can be controlled with a railways funded song and dance festival featuring a battery of renouned classical/folk/commercial singers (to be marshalled by stalwarts like Nachiketa, Kabir Suman and co.) belting out the legendary 'Megh Malhar'...M Ban in her characteristic aplomb (she admits spending sleepless night planning "the Monsoon Bandh") endorsed this idea saying its a much reliable alternative to back-dated concepts like cloud-seeding and if the TMC (The Mamata Cartel) pulls this one off then chances are that she would go ahead and implement this idea in the rain-deprived lands of Andhra. Looks like Kolkata can expect some poly-tick-ally wet days ahead.

I just love powercuts...

Next time you think of cursing the CESC for the incessant load sheddings that we enjoy in our 'City of Joy'... please! please! Do spare some thought for the poor ol' power guys because there's very little that they can come up with to improve the situation. I don't need to break to you all that powercut is a nuisance yet often necessary and almost unanimously percieved as evil (except for blokes like me who revel in those hours of imposed darkness, catering to the instinctive compulsions of my nocturnal alter ego; and yes! you may even find me hanging upside down from the ceiling provided you happen to visit me during a powercut; let me also make it clear that i try not switch on emergency light, inverters, light candles or hurricanes unless, of course, absolutely necessary) The CESC has completely lost the plot, now that the average Kolkatan, wielding the new found purchasing power, prefer air-conditioned comfort over sweating humbly (very soon non A/C households will become a part of 'The Great Bengali Nostalgia')...Even CESC attributes this power shortage to the 300% additional power consumption on an average per consumer thanks to the cost effective A/Cs that have flooded the market targeting the middle class folks. Not that I have anything against the common man enjoying the fruits of consumerism, I hail from the middle class myself, it is the disregard for pragmatic ideals/ rational needs and wants which strangely (given my "like i damn care..." demeanour) baffles me... Enough said!
......Now then...What is it that i like about load sheddings???
To begin with, its sheer predictibility...my sixth sense sends out alerts prior to a PC ( i.e. PowerCut...it aint personal compu or P.Chidambaram)...Thankfully,CESC prefers to stick to a timetable for PCs which BTW is based on the load/consumption pattern over a 24 hour duration. Now where was i??? .....Umm,yes...PC augurs a respite from my mom's silly soaps on Star Jalsa, Pepsi's dumb ads feat. Ranbir and Baba, Tharoor & Modi's IPL drama etc. etc.
If there's an exam round the corner, you get those precious few hours to relax and compose yourself...PCs are a boon in summers...you sweat like a glass of cold water... Sweating as we know helps keep our skin clean, keeps sodium level in check for high BP patients, reduces fat deposits, creates sweat stains on your clothes for you to apply surf excel on, fosters body odour so that you get the excuse of emptying out that can of deo on your body and yada yada yada...Is that all?? Nope, there's a lot more to PC ...Did you notice the streets fall silent as soon as load shedding happens? as if someone simply hit the mute buttton... if the skies are clear, you may rediscover Mr.Moon's splendor and savour the world around you basking in his mild yet invigorating moonlight, gazing at the star studded sky normally cloaked by the city lights, the faint glow of radium on the needles of your watch, fireflies and glow worms prancing about .................To say that "without electricity, life's a drag" is so wrong.... Just pull the plug and watch those hidden facets of the shady parallel world unveil themselves.

How would you prefer to die?? charred in a fiery inferno or the gravity assisted concussive death?

To watch those poor souls who took the leap from windows of the Stephen House as they came crashing down on the pavement just so to escape a death by fire, filled me with a myriad of thoughts whose essence still eludes me. What would I have chosen, had I been in their shoes?

 Exactly a month earlier we witnessed a similar tragedy at the Carlton Tower, Bangalore. Now, its easy  to draw parallels between the two incidents interestingly these accidents share the same date of a month i.e the 23rd. Almost similar negligence of fire safety measures, late emergency response, politicos milking the situation, the brave common man leading the rescue efforts while authority sheepishly shrug their shoulders of any liability etc. For us, denizens of Kolkata, turning on the idiot box to grab the latest breaking news, these events/accidents barely touch upon the eventuality of us getting trapped in similar mishappenings. You see, the Grimm Reaper has this trick up his sleeves, of catching one off guard; a surprise that he throws so aptly that you don't get the time to react.

In India, he doesn't even have to get his timing right because everywhere you look(don't mistake it for a paranoia), you can discover scores of deathtraps set for unwary victims. I won't dwell on the loopholes cuz there are simply too many to cover. 

 Simple hydrants and fire extinguishers are obviously ineffective against such raging fires. We must consider other more potent safety measures...cuz its prudence in assuming that fire brigade would never get to you in time.

* Fire escape chutes: must for high rises and apartments...Really effective for evacuating safely multiple victims rapidly. These cost quite a fortune but pays even by saving countless life in such dire circumstances.

* inflatable Rescue  cushions: Cost effective solution for saving people who jump out from a couple of floors above ground. These can be deployed really fast, could have saved so many people who died hitting the ledges and pavement trying to escape being burnt alive. Reports indicate them to be available with the fire services but kept in a godown somewhere in kolkata at an undisclosed location (Even the fire fighters don't know where!)

* Retractable escape ladders: Could have made a lot of difference for those who had to use cable TV wires and curtains to rappel down. The rescuers would have found them handy as well.

* Automated Rappeling line for gently lowering victims down high rises:

Much better than those unreliable nylon ropes they put to use yesterday.

 * Fire Sprinklers: critical in arresting small fires before they can grow into a wild blaze. These are a standard in homes abroad but here in India, we can so easily give' em a miss.

well, i do know this...writing this post ain't gonna rustle even a leaf. Just so to lessen my guilt of being latent to do anything about it made me dig up this stuff . I have complete faith in the 100% desi "Chalta hai" spirit that these measures won't be there, in may God forbid, future fire accidents.