I wasn't there at the farewell...

Yup, I gave the farewell a miss...maybe I was missed there or maybe my absence didn't matter...Just cudn't bring myself to accept that some third year juniors, a couple of professors, a box of almost dehydrated biryani and a cup of vanilla ice cream can tell me to take a hike...to leave the university I loathed so much...to tell me that the stipulated period of my stay in this sanctuary has now expired...that I can no longer enjoy the sights and sounds of PESU,ZHIBPUR...heck, even the drudgery and stress of the days spent braving the DEPARTMENT, have vanished and inexplicably, I can now sense the huge void left in my psyche. You know what they say, "In the shadows of gloom, you learn to appreciate the sunshine of joy"...The first few days spent in the hostel now appear so surreal...back then, to wade through 4 years seemed herculean but now I wish the years went by at a slower pace.
Well, these feelings must have been corroborated by millions of students graduating each year, and I surely won't claim anything different...still, it's human to believe that your personal misery surpasses those of the others around you. Skipping the farewell was partly intentional as I couldn't muster enough grit to face my brothers and friends, look them in the eyes, give'em a hug and then say that I'll forever be there for them, stay in touch and so on...That's too hefty a commitment to make...I don't need this *ucking farewell as an excuse to tell my pals that I'll remember them and that they are special...As far as I am concerned, that much goes without saying......

So where was I, having skipped the farewell??

This friday evening, climate was cool with pleasant breeze blowing across the sun baked streets of kolkata...Not sure what I wanted to do, I got off the bus at Rabindra Sadan and then continued on foot...I was overwhelmed by the memories of the fun we had in our hostels before petty issues like political allurements fucked up our utopia...I kept walking aimlessly just making sure that i was heading south...groups of spirited college-goers passed by me...I couldn't help but feel pity for myself...Wish I could trade places with them. In those dimly lit streets with bright kiosks illuminating small patches, I saw life come a full circle... I was clueless, disoriented 4 years back and still am, having experienced only a fleeting moment of  belonging and purpose in between...I walked all the way from Sadan to Jadavpur thana...took a bus from there for Baghajatin and somehow pulled my calf muscle while getting off the bus...Off-hand walks over great distances can tax your body severely. As a bed-ridden alumni/ex-student of the batch of 2006 , I wish everyone Godspeed...