Behold.....The Justice League Of Electrical Engineering

The order of JLEE ...SKM, GB, ANS, DR, ASG, MSG, AR, DSu, AKM and JP...To keep their identities a secret, Super-zeroes like KM, AS, SP, BRB did not furnish their photographs

" Who needs villains if you have them, Zeroes, watching your six..."

Trees get executed without trial...

Clearly, Abhishek Bachchan's ''pre-paid ki post-paid'' (Idea's save paper,save tree initiative) ads failed to strike a chord with the Indian legal eagles. Even to chargesheet ''caught in the act'' criminals like Kasab a.k.a the ''Butcher of Bombay'', Ujjwal Nikam, a prominent criminal lawyer, had to rely on paper (not much of a choice, is it?) despite all the incriminating evidence he had against the accused in electronic form at his disposal...He could have very well gone a step ahead and presented an e-charge sheet thereby making a greater impression on the Indian vox populi than celebrating his umpteenth triumph, this time over this felon (whose crimes could have been proven in court even by a school kid) by waving a spiral bound dossier with a pic of Kasab and a A4 size cut-out of gallows on the front cover...Apparently the prosecution submitted over 11000 pages of chargesheet (thats almost 2 and a half trees devoured ). Now ain't that Ridiculous? The trees that were destined to serve this cause (of providing the paper needed)  didn't have ''chipko movement'' leaders like Chandi Bhatt, Nanda Devi rooting for them. If 11000 pages were meant for just one terrorist, imagine the no. of forests that need to chopped down to provide paper for the innumerous terrorists based in Pakistan to be brought to justice.You might as well shoot them than capture if the cost is this high...
Alright...Lets say we swallow this bitter pill in the name of national security and justice, but what about that pesky money spinning bastard, Lalit Modi...that weasel, to counter the charges levied against him (22 to be precise) had his platoon of lawyers come up with 15000 pages of reply and counterstatements!!! That's an average of 680 pages per charge!! This effort itself should get you a clean chit...what say Mr.Modi,huh?? Your tactical reply claimed the lives of 3 and a half mute green ones... So much to bolster that extra large ego of yours. Another disturbing aspect of this stunt...papers concerning legal matters (unlike newspapers, office paperwork etc.) are almost never shredded or recycled, these pages are destined to rot in files and cabinets for decades to come...Show some sensitivity, guys!! Spare a thought for the verdure...and if you think that the sheer volume of paperwork you present, would testify your competence, then please, seek life elsewhere!!

I wasn't there at the farewell...

Yup, I gave the farewell a miss...maybe I was missed there or maybe my absence didn't matter...Just cudn't bring myself to accept that some third year juniors, a couple of professors, a box of almost dehydrated biryani and a cup of vanilla ice cream can tell me to take a hike...to leave the university I loathed so much...to tell me that the stipulated period of my stay in this sanctuary has now expired...that I can no longer enjoy the sights and sounds of PESU,ZHIBPUR...heck, even the drudgery and stress of the days spent braving the DEPARTMENT, have vanished and inexplicably, I can now sense the huge void left in my psyche. You know what they say, "In the shadows of gloom, you learn to appreciate the sunshine of joy"...The first few days spent in the hostel now appear so surreal...back then, to wade through 4 years seemed herculean but now I wish the years went by at a slower pace.
Well, these feelings must have been corroborated by millions of students graduating each year, and I surely won't claim anything different...still, it's human to believe that your personal misery surpasses those of the others around you. Skipping the farewell was partly intentional as I couldn't muster enough grit to face my brothers and friends, look them in the eyes, give'em a hug and then say that I'll forever be there for them, stay in touch and so on...That's too hefty a commitment to make...I don't need this *ucking farewell as an excuse to tell my pals that I'll remember them and that they are special...As far as I am concerned, that much goes without saying......

So where was I, having skipped the farewell??

This friday evening, climate was cool with pleasant breeze blowing across the sun baked streets of kolkata...Not sure what I wanted to do, I got off the bus at Rabindra Sadan and then continued on foot...I was overwhelmed by the memories of the fun we had in our hostels before petty issues like political allurements fucked up our utopia...I kept walking aimlessly just making sure that i was heading south...groups of spirited college-goers passed by me...I couldn't help but feel pity for myself...Wish I could trade places with them. In those dimly lit streets with bright kiosks illuminating small patches, I saw life come a full circle... I was clueless, disoriented 4 years back and still am, having experienced only a fleeting moment of  belonging and purpose in between...I walked all the way from Sadan to Jadavpur thana...took a bus from there for Baghajatin and somehow pulled my calf muscle while getting off the bus...Off-hand walks over great distances can tax your body severely. As a bed-ridden alumni/ex-student of the batch of 2006 , I wish everyone Godspeed...

Another Tehelka expose!! And it’s Muthalik yet again!!

Foreword

Shamelessness knows no bounds…And Pramod bhai is a living example…............................................

"Within 24 hours of being exposed on the Headlines Today by a joint HT-Tehelka Sting Op, Mr. Muthalik was again caught on tape doing his monkey business but this time in West Bengal…And the person who caught Pramod bhai with his hands in the cookie jar…presenting the one and only PYT… PTY…PTI news correspondent cum part-time Tehelka reporter... "Goooooogol" <Applause! Applause!!...the studio audience went berserk>…please give him a big hand!!!"

Gogol: Thank You! It's because of the love I receive from you all that compels me to go about eavesdrop on others, bug their telephone wires and carry out such acts of privacy infringement. (BTW, who threw that big cutout of "Congress ka haath" at me…the presenter was talking about claps…dumbo!!)…Without further delay, let me present to you, an excerpt from the telephonic conversation which took place yesterday at 11:11 pm IST.

But First, a li'l insight into the parties involved…


Pramod Muthalik is the self styled chief of the Rashtriya Hindu Sena, the parent organization of the Sri Ram Sene.

He is the epitome of the sad degeneration of human kind and the proof of how religion begets criminals worldwide. ( To save space, Pramod Muthalik has been designated the call sign PMu...pronounced Pee-Muu)




Debashish Sarkar is the self styled professor of electrical engineering dept. (PESU, Zhibpur).

He is the epitome of the radical degeneration of human kind and the proof of how blackboards beget "talk less, write more, no explanation" professors worldwide. ( To save space, Debashish Sarkar has been designated the call sign DSu...pronounced Dee-Suu)




 
DSu: Hello…Eita ki 2441139?? Ami ki Bela Bose r songe kotha bolte pari?? (i.e. "Is this 2441139?? Can I speak with Bela Bose??)

PMu: Nahi…Yeh 24 hour 'rent a riot' ka telephone sewa hai…kucch dino mein toll free sewa bhi chalu ho jayega. Par ye Bela Bose kaun hai?? Kya yeh madira paan karti hai, pub mein??…agar haan toh iski khair nahi!! Aur tere bhi!!

DSu: Arrey! Na na…Ami…Hame toh aabhi aabhi iska no. mila…Mera relative ne mujhe baat karne ko kaha…Beiyer Jono…I mean shaadi ke liye.

PMu: Jo bhi ho…

DSu: ei Ki!! Aapko to TV pe de raha hai…Lagta hai kisne apka MMS shoot kar liye hai… so careless!! Par koi Ladki toh nahi dikhei de rahi hai…Ei Pushp Sharma ta ke??...OOoooooo... mone hocche "maa ka ladla bigad gaya!"

PMu: NAhiii!!Abbey Murkh!... Mera sting Operation ho gaya hai… Client se paisa demand kar raha tha..Riot ke liye!

DSu: eita ki notun service?? Rent-a-riot?? Hamko bhi kuch kaam hai…aap karoge??

PMu: Pehle batao…tum kaun ho?? No. to Kolkata ka lagta hai…

DSu: I am a senior professor at PESU, Zhibpur…and a damn good one…

PMu: Aaiin?? Naam toh nahi suna…Pvt. College hai kya? Uff…bolo mere se kya kaam hai?

DSu: Mujhe VC banna hai…

PMu: toh bano na…main kahan rok raha hun?

DSu: Actually, it is not that simple…Let me explain…Hum Famous nahi hai na…isliye problem hai…

Bacchalog bolta hai ki ami, ami DSu, porate pari na…Sudhu na ki Board mein notes likh ke chala jata hai…

PMu: Aap aisa keu karte ho?? Lecture do na…explain karo..

DSu: waise Pora sona hoy na!! You know, Hum jab chotta tha, i mean, when I used to be small…I used to write "I'll do my homework every day" 100 times on the blackboard…at first I did not understand why the teacher made me write so…Pore jante parlam ki…Blackboard e likhle bhalo porasona hoy…isleye my English so strong!!! So to make chatro der Electrical Machine stronger I write notes on the Blackboard and make them copy in their note books + I do not disturb them by explaining the Topic…It benefits me as well…Ami gota notes ta na dekhe likhte parbo…phasor diagram toh sketching er moto namiye di…

PMu: Kyun dimag ka dahi kar raha hai?? Bol kya karna hai…haath par todne ka 10 K, Murder ka 100 k, Riot 1000 k…riots kai flavours main milenge... communal +40% additional cost, moral policing +10%, protests +15%, demonstration +20% + 10 k for every hour…guests of attraction bhi available hai ...Don Ravi pujari + 30 k, Attavar + 15 k, Myself +50 K, Mamata and brigade ka double charges ho jayega....

Aabhi off-season hai isliye 20% rebate…+ chance to win…scratch card milega…exciting prizes!!

DSu: Bah!! Darun!! Kintu plan ta toh sono…ekbar plan sun lo…

PMu: <phir pakayega saala!!> Haan, bolo

DSu: Ei plan mujhe Prosenjit ke Film se mila…Nijer hired goonda theke heroine ke bachiye woh heroine ke tule nei…How ingenious!!

Similarly, aap PESU, Zhibpur mein Student riot karo...itna zyada ki VC control na kar paye…tarpor aami single-handedly goonda tariye situation control kar lunga…then mere VC hone ke liye sympathy mil jayega…ami VC, just imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PMu: Itna phudak mat…mera chokra logo ko kya ab acting bhi karna padega?? Kisine tujhe mar kar leta diya toh? Mera paisa to doob jayega…

DSu: Aami o khoka noi…Main Martial Arts janta hoon!! UGC er karate course correspondence e kiya hoon!!

PMu: Baap re!! Tab toh mere aadmi ko khatra hai!

DSu: Arrey na re..ekdum Filmi fight hobe…Aami UGC er theke acting course o korechi…correspondence e!!

PMu: Ok..toh nikal 60 lakhs!!!

DSu: eto bese??

But, kyun?? Hisab bojhao!

PMu: Tujhe VC banna hai ki nahi? Agar haan to nikal paisa…acting ke charges alaag se padega+ VAT bhi toh hai na!

DSu: Hai re…eto taka kahan se milega??

PMu: VC banne ke bad…university funds se de dena…

DSu: Chalo..thik acche… Date ar Time fix korbo after june… Tar aage bari ta repair korte hobe and Gari badalna padega…after all, VC banne chala hoon…Merry Christmas to me!!

PMu: Kya bE!! Ek lafa marunga!! Hindutva bhul gaya kya??? Bol "Merry Janamasthami to me"!!

DSu: Ok Ok …gussa mat ho!! Bye…phone rakhchi!! Thank u , thank u < distant humming heard over the line for a while "chiggy wiggy….chiggy wiggy….chi…*cut*>

*********************************************************************************
So there you have it…a "big" time professor from the Dept. of electrical engineering and Pramod Muthalik planning a major coup at PESU, Zhibpur…Sadly, this country has gone to the dogs...

Signing Out…gogol